The Most Misunderstood Human Concepts: Masculinity and Femininity

As someone who goes deep into energetic work and tunes into what's been discussed everywhere, I find discussions about the masculine and the feminine almost triggering. Nothing gets villainised or weaponised as much as masculine and feminine energies.

I am not only holding a different perspective as a woman and human being, but I hold a different perspective as an energetic worker and spiritual teacher.

Talking about masculine and feminine energy often makes me tired. It is not equivalent to talking about gender. It is also not linked to biology. Social constructs, clichés, stereotypes and straightforward sexism get easily entangled in this discussion. Sometimes this is done intentionally to get more clicks, hence earn more money, or to provoke and play with power dynamics.

But energies are not the same as our understanding of all of the above. Yet, from what I can sense, masculine and feminine energies particularly are our link to the spiritual realm. I see them as the nice twist of the universe to intensify our experience of dichotomy on earth. 

Let me back this up...

From my understanding, there are many worlds besides Earth. Past-life regressions already seem to make this clear. But even scientifically it does make sense, because humans can only observe a tiny part of the entire universe. Just as a comparison: If the universe were compared to all of our oceans, the observed part of it would represent only a 6-ounce glass. Wouldn't it be silly to scoop out a glass of water from the ocean and then assume there were no fish in the entire ocean? 
I personally got to the conclusion that we have more worlds to choose from when reincarnating, as I astral project into them quite frequently and get to see other places with other energies and a different set of experiences ready for incarnation. 

Earth is a lot about dichotomy and contrasts. There is much more to it, but for the topic of masculine and feminine energy it is the dichotomy that stands in the foreground.

Masculine and feminine energies are not physical. Someone can have a male body but carry a lot of feminine energy. And even if this is the case, this does not mean that this person is sexually attracted to the same sex biologically. All of these areas, such as sexual orientation, gender identification and biological sex, have to be looked at separately from masculine and feminine energies. Energies shift and move. They are not stagnant, and they do not follow goals or intentions the mind has set in the form of cognitions. 

The discussions held about masculine and feminine energies are centred around ideas. But rather than following our thoughts and our minds, energies follow the intentions of the higher self. What is spiritually in our best interest does not necessarily correlate with what feels comfortable or what seems logical. The higher self might decide to create opportunities for human experiences on earth that feel very uncomfortable and even clash with societal standards and stereotypes for our earth self. This is not meant to be an obstacle, and the goal is not the discomfort itself. It is merely the opportunity to overcome what we are confronted with.
This does not mean that we will always be able to read these correctly. We constantly misunderstand messages from our higher self. Many societies no longer centre spiritual development. As a consequence we detach from our higher self, not knowing what it wants from us. 

If our soul desired to go through an experience of autonomy and claiming their own power, this could manifest in a tendency leaning towards feminine energy while the physical body is manifested in a biological male body. While the intention of the higher self could be that you, in this instance, are asked to stand your ground, opposing societal stereotypes and embracing your feminine energy, many people in this very situation decide to assimilate and suppress their feminine energies and give in to societal stereotypes that dictate that feminine energy cannot be embraced in a male body.

This example shows very well why this causes resistance inside somebody. Energies desire to shift and move. Whenever they approach resistance, this can create blockages. 

Reiki makes it possible to fully tune into energies. As a Reiki Healer this is a truly magical experience. Whenever I come across a client that suppresses a certain type of energy, I also detect an energetic blockage. Blockages can cause various issues.
It is up to the person who has the blockage if they choose to open it up. Reiki does not open a blockage for someone forcefully. In my experience, people with unblocked energy tend to be calmer, they approach issues with new solutions, and they do not mind the unknown or untested. All of this makes them more resilient in many ways. 

Society does not make it easy for people to embrace their true energetic nature. Women are supposed to be a certain way, and men are supposed to be a certain way. Social media even fuels debates and controversies around this to gain more clicks and attention. 

The reason why I find this tiring is that I know and experience in my daily work that all of us can carry both parts inside us. This is as normal as drinking water. Ticking certain behaviours off to show, confirm and forever reconfirm what your physical gender identification is seems toxic and outdated. This mindset should no longer be supported and collectively refused. 

Humanity is ready to allow all shades of masculinity and femininity, no matter how they are being expressed. But even in spiritual circles, debates are still held as if these energies translate into gender roles. The feminine isn't "soft", and the masculine isn't "strong" as a contrast. Energies of all nature can be soft and gentle or strong and forceful.

I go a step further and say: What we think of feminine and masculine energies is entirely wrong. 

We talk about these energies to basically create a category that is as blurry as it gets. Energy is something so abstract and big that we can read a lot into it without the need for explaining it. As someone holding space between science and spirituality, I do not like or accept this approach. I am a Psychologist and a Reiki Healer. Having integrity in both areas, I like to see spirituality that truly makes sense and helps.

The part that we - in my opinion - often get wrong is that "true" spirit does not have gender identification. What I mean by this is that we have different levels of energies. Earth (compared to other worlds) has very dense energy. This makes certain experiences possible, such as food intake, suffering from pain, sexual intercourse, etc. Not every being in the universe is on the level of this dense energy. There are higher-evolved beings that no longer have the need to reside in a physical body. Humans, however, are on this particular level, and their energies have to somehow translate into the dense energies of earth. I truly believe that if a human soul incarnate (in some cases many times) evolves and moves on to other ways of being, the energies of this spirit shift simultaneously during this process. 

What I am trying to say is that there are versions of us that live previous lives in different bodies. There are versions of us in no body. There are versions of us as higher beings. There are versions of us as beings that we cannot even imagine. Feminine and masculine energy, to me, are a way to experience our current version at a dense earth level. We are complex beings. Our sexual orientation, our gender identification, our biological features, our assigned sex, and our feminine and masculine energies are all areas of their own while we keep talking about them as if they should be all the same. I am not saying that they are not linked to each other. I am just saying that they are what they are but not what society or even you want them to be. This is the reason why I try to get people to tune into their own energy instead of them trying to influence the energy into something it isn't.

If you would like to hear more about this, have a look at this podcast I was invited to in March 2026 by the colleagues at The Soul Centre in Haarlem (near Amsterdam). In this episode we speak about masculine and femine energies besides other important topics.